CHICAGO—As a singer made her way onto the field to kickoff another home game with “The Star-Spangled Banner,” White Sox public address announcer Gene Honda politely reminded fans Tuesday to remove the Polish sausages from their mouths during the national anthem. According to spectators, Honda told the crowd to “Please rise and kindly remove any tubed meats from your mouth,” instructing those in attendance to respectfully place the bun over their hearts until the song had ended. Several reports indicated the announcement also included a reminder to take the nachos off one’s lap before standing to honor the American flag, though this message was largely drowned out by the chomping, crunching, chugging, and belching that echoed throughout the stadium and the city at large. Security officials later confirmed they had removed several “disrespectful” White Sox fans who had interrupted the anthem with various forms of meat-induced coronary failure.
