CHICAGO—In effort to honor the extraordinarily talented and creative individual, a MacArthur ‘genius grant’ was awarded Wednesday to Arkansas man Dale Huggins for his invention of the eatin’ shirt, a big ol’ shirt he puts on before supper so his…
Listen, no one’s trying to broadcast private details about your life to the whole world, but you should know that living here would absolutely violate the terms of your plea agreement. Reference #18793 The post Not 200 Yards Away From…
Randy Faber, 49, died Saturday after a horn impaling his chest confirmed his severe rhino allergy. The post Randy Faber appeared first on The Onion. Source link
LOS ANGELES—Describing the mood in the clubhouse as eerie and ominous, several members of the Los Angeles Dodgers told reporters Tuesday they have become increasingly unnerved since Shohei Ohtani’s interpreter, Will Ireton, began referring to the two-way superstar as “The…
Former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez faces a felony battery charge after allegedly confronting a 69-year-old truck driver at a hotel loading dock, with the driver pepper-spraying and stabbing Sanchez as he continued advancing toward him. What do you think? “So…
ARLINGTON, VA—Saying the Pentagon had acted swiftly on an insider tip about the vessel having a “big adventure” planned, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth confirmed Tuesday that the U.S. military had carried out a strike on Scuffy the Tugboat. “Little Scuffy…
RISHIKESH, INDIA—In an effort to break down creative barriers and open their minds to new types of spirituality, members of the heavy metal band Slipknot reportedly traveled to India this week to begin the psychedelic, free-love phase of their career. “The…
The Saturday evening union of D.C. insiders Baines Wright III and Carter Nowak featured several productive breakout sessions with good thought-starters on potential honeymoon locations for the new couple. The post Baines Wright III and Carter Nowak appeared first on…
Treasure hunters recovered more than 1,000 silver and gold coins worth about $1 million from a 1715 Spanish shipwreck off Florida’s coast. What do you think? “Fools! Heed you well the curse of Don Carlos Leon, or meet your doom.”…
While it’s natural for personal relationships to change or fade over time, many adults reportedly find it difficult to forge new friendships later in life. The Onion shares tips for making friends as an adult. Start calling your parents by…
