Fox News host Brian Kilmeade apologized for saying that mentally ill homeless people should be subject to “involuntary lethal injections”, a remark he now calls “extremely callous.” What do you think? “You can’t call for the extermination of anyone these…
The Life Of A ShowgirlTaylor Swift’s newest album, will be released Oct. 3. The pop star gave The Onion a preview of the album, breaking it down for reporters track by track. “The Fate of Ophelia”: “This is my gentle…
This three-bedroom house was remodeled to look like a giant meatball after the owner mentioned to the host of an HGTV show that he sometimes eats Italian food. The post Post-HGTV Disaster appeared first on The Onion. Source link
SAN FRANCISCO—In response to ongoing concerns regarding the safety of its female passengers, rideshare giant Uber reportedly introduced a new feature Wednesday that allows women to request a nonthreatening eunuch driver. “With UberCastrated, female riders can feel more at ease…
CLEARWATER, FL—Explaining that his personal health was everything to him, Tom Cruise told reporters Thursday he had purchased a Fitbit to help him get in his 10,000 daily stunts. “Now that I’m getting older, it’s more important than ever to…
Spirited away by carriage under cover of night, the two lovers were wed deep in the forest by an unfrocked priest. The post Luna Fisher and Oliver Cox appeared first on The Onion. Source link
That fucker, aged who the fuck cares, finally kicked the bucket Monday, that prick. After living a no-good waste of a life, family and friends are invited to say good riddance, you sorry piece of shit. The post That Fucker…
NIH Director’s Pulsing Neck Tumor Announces Cancer Research Cuts – The Onion Published: September 16, 2025 Source link
NEW YORK—Insisting your fate was sealed the moment you clicked the link, a report released Tuesday found that you will be fired for reading this headline about Charlie Kirk. “Shortly after you navigated to this article, your IP address was…
So one bright morning around nine, sunlight streaming through her mini-blinds, your ol’ pal Jean rolled out of bed (literally!), slurped a mug of piping hot cocoa, and chowed down on the last of the two-day-old day-old cinnamon rolls, took…
