Category Comedy

Cold Plunges: Myth Vs. Fact

Cold plunges, also known as ice baths, are an increasingly popular wellness trend. The Onion examines the myths and facts surrounding cold plunges. MYTH: Cold plunges are only for celebrities and athletes. FACT: They’re also for people easily influenced by…

Wimbledon Player Issued Violation For Un-British Display Of Emotion

LONDON—Receiving the warning shortly after first-round matches got underway at Wimbledon, tennis player Daniil Medvedev was issued a code violation Monday for an un-British display of emotion. “Code violation, Medvedev, for verbally expressing frustration,” said chair umpire Oliver Gladwin-Taylor, reminding both…

Tips For Keeping Pets Safe In Hot Weather

While it can be fun to spend the summer days outdoors with your furry friends, it’s important to remember that animals are highly susceptible to the dangers of extreme temperatures. Here are The Onion’s tips for keeping your pets safe…

Sweaty Corn Making Summer More Humid

Midwestern corn crops are releasing vast amounts of moisture into the air, known as “corn sweat”, which, combined with rising temperatures and expanded planting, is fueling increasingly sticky summer humidity. What do you think? “I prefer the dry heat we…

Supreme Court Rules 6-3 That Everyone A Damn Critic

WASHINGTON—In a provocative 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court ruled Monday that everyone’s a damn critic these days. “It is this court’s opinion that apparently everyone has their own ideas about how this court should operate and is not shy about…

North Korea Opens Beach Resort

North Korea is opening a beach resort that its leader Kim Jong-Un hopes will boost tourism in the secretive communist regime. What do you think? “Why would I need the sun when I can bask in the majesty of the…