Trump: ‘Another Thing Epstein And I Never Did Is Play Nude Charades’
Trump: ‘Another Thing Epstein And I Never Did Is Play Nude Charades’ – The Onion Published: September 29, 2025 Source link
Category Comedy
Victor Wembanyama Reports To Training Camp Having Added 25 Pounds Of Hair
SAN ANTONIO—Demonstrating his commitment to entering the season in peak physical form, Spurs center Victor Wembanyama reported to training camp Monday having packed on 25 pounds of dense, towering hair. “The coaching staff wanted me to bulk up over the…
Highlights From Kamala Harris’ New Memoir
Kamala Harris has released 107 Daysa new memoir detailing her 2024 run for president against Donald Trump. Here are highlights from the book. Complete list of every American who did not vote for her in 2024 Story of how she…
Inside Of Light Fixture Everything Moth Dreamed And More
MEREDITH, NH—Saying the luminous paradise had exceeded even its wildest expectations, a local moth told reporters Tuesday the inside of a light fixture was everything it had ever dreamed of and more. “Woo-hoo! They’ve got a whole second light bulb in…
Amazon To Pay $2.5 Billion Settlement For Tricking Prime Customers
In the largest civil penalty in Federal Trade Commission history, Amazon agreed to pay a $2.5 billion settlement to resolve claims that it misled customers into Prime enrollments and made cancellations difficult. What do you think? “Amazon needs to stop…
I’d Lather Not
The post I’d Lather Not appeared first on The Onion. Source link
Taylor Swift Secures 5-Year Restraining Order Against Stalker
Taylor Swift was granted a five-year restraining order against an alleged stalker who repeatedly appeared at her home and made delusional claims about having a child with her. What do you think? “She should at least take a test to…
ICE Confirms Agents Do Not Have Faces Beneath Masks
WASHINGTON—In response to legislation that would ban officers from obscuring their identities during arrests and raids, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement confirmed Thursday that beneath their masks, agents do not have faces. Tom Homan, the U.S. border czar and chief…
Spooky Tax Evasion House
Live in the very house where a man failed to pay $200,000 in taxes over 10 years…if you dare! Reference #29301 The post Spooky Tax Evasion House appeared first on The Onion. Source link
Stephen Miller Builds Windowless, Soundproof Shed On White House Lawn
WASHINGTON—Carrying tools and a handful of two-by-fours as he silently emerged from the North Portico, deputy chief of staff and homeland security advisor Stephen Miller reportedly constructed a windowless, soundproof shed on the White House grounds Thursday. According to sources, the…
