BOSTON—Gazing longingly at the obvious warmth and good cheer within, local bald man Frank Richmond reportedly pressed his face to a window Wednesday as a thick-haired family inside sat down to dinner. “They all seem so happy,” said Richmond, his wrinkled, naked pate offering no protection from the cold night air as he…
THE HEAVENS—Groaning to Himself as the professionally dressed evangelists rounded the corner, the Lord God Almighty reportedly locked the gates of heaven Tuesday after spotting Mormon missionaries milling around outside. “Maybe if we turn off all the lights and pretend…
Doctor Warns Of Damaging Effects Child Obesity Having On Mall Santas – The Onion Share Published: December 17, 2024 Explore More Videos Read More Source link
ABC News agreed to pay $15 million toward Donald Trump’s presidential library to settle a defamation lawsuit over anchor George Stephanopoulos’ inaccurate on-air assertion that the president-elect had been found civilly liable for raping writer E. Jean Carroll. What do…
NEW YORK—Saying it reminded him why he comes to work every morning, Solarion Enterprises CEO Dan Lipcot told reporters Friday that in order to stay motivated at the office, he always kept a photo of himself on his desk. “When I’m…
