WASHINGTON—A warm rush pulsing through his body as he stared at the clean white feathers that covered the rendering of his body, something forbidden reportedly stirred deep within President Donald Trump on Thursday after he saw a political cartoon depicting him as a chicken. White House sources confirmed that Trump barked, “Out, everybody out,” to a group of advisers in the Oval Office when the sight of his face on a cartoon chicken caused him to stop ranting about tariffs on China and break into a cold sweat, after which he stared silently at himself in the mirror for several minutes. The president is said to have whispered to himself about how proud and striking the chicken appeared, and he slowly ran his hands over his arms and closed his eyes, letting out a hushed “bawk, bawk” behind his closed office door. According to reports, Trump has since ordered the Department of Agriculture to find out how to cover every inch of his body in chicken feathers, providing at least a dozen theoretical mock-ups of what he might look like.
