A new Superman movie directed by James Gunn is now in theaters. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the film.
Q: What is Superman about?
A: Superman trying to reconnect with his roots by opening a Kryptonian restaurant in a skeptical Midwestern town.
Q: What is the film’s run time?
A: Five concealed PBR tallboys long.
Q: Is Spider-Man in it?
A: No buddy, this one is about a different guy, but he’s pretty cool too!
Q: Where can I watch it?
A: Fans fluent in Mandarin can get a sneak peek of the film right now on WATCHMOVIESNOWHD123.COM.
Q: Who is Superman for?
A: Girlfriends who have become so desperate for a date night they’re willing to make some concessions.
Q: When will the next Superman reboot come out?
A: About 45 minutes into this one.
